Cyclist vs. Vehicle - So many lessons learned

As a cyclist you tend to follow things like Velo News and Cycling News, which at times report on a cyclist's collision with a car or unfortunate encounter with road rage.  Most cyclists tend to get very angry when reading these reports, while at the same time fearing a bit for their life, all the time knowing we refuse to give up our love - the sport of cycling.

I personally try to be a very defensive cyclist, while admittedly having little patience for cars.  As a driver, I treat the cyclist just like a car, as I hope to be treated while on my bike.  The other night on my ride I learned a number of lessons related to road rage and life lessons in general.  As you read you may be surprised who was the culprit of the road rage.

It is important as a driver to know your rights as a driver but also the rights of a cyclist.  Cyclists have the same rights as a car, cyclists have the right to the lane they occupy etc., but this does also include a cyclists requirement to obey regular driving laws and, for example, stop at red lights and stop signs (we are all guilty of disobeying, and I am sure we all have a vast array of excused or reasons to try to legitimize what is ultimately illegal behavior).  But as a cyclist we have to realize that not all cars are going to treat us this way and in turn we must be extremely defensive.  In being defensive we must also realize that on a bike we are more vulnerable to all elements, vehicles, weather, potholes, dead animals, people etc.  I personally admit to being extremely defensive after reading the all too true horror stories, and even witnessing, cyclists being ran off the road by cars or attacked and mugged by people.

The other night presented an unfortunate circumstance that I admittedly and regretfully did not handle in a remotely respectful manner.  If somebody disrespects or hurts you, do you hurt them back?  NO - Cardinal Rule.  Disrespect does not lead to respect.  As a large truck came up behind me with the engine revving and then slowed to follow me, I instantly became defensive.  What I consider through personal experience to be a fairly logical response, assuming the person could potentially have rage toward me, started to run through my mind.  I know there are a lot of people who do not think cyclists should be on the road.  I also proceded to have thoughts, that to me are a reality, but in the location and circumstance were extremely unlikely and most people would never even imagine.  Anyway, as the truck tailed me going up an incline I tried to wave it on and I got very frustrated that it would not go.  I finally pulled off the road and as it drove by I did a one finger wave, VERY inappropriate and I am quite embarrassed to admit that my rage and irritation got the best of me.  The better response would have been to ignore the vehicle, just as parents teach young kids to walk away from bad situations.

The truck then proceded to pull over.  The cyclists other fear, and another lesson, Rage leads to Rage. As my heart was pounding and I reached for my phone a man got out of the truck.  He took a few steps toward me and said "Megan" and my heart stopped yet again.  How did he know me, how was this possible.  I have to remind myself I grew up here and it is a small town in the country, everybody knows everybody. This lead to yet another lesson you never know who you could see/run into out on the road, or who could see you without you even realizing it. Yup a childhood friend with a family and kids in the car, I was mortified and felt unbelievably horrible.   Fortunately in this situation my rage did not lead to provoking the rage of the vehicle, but lesson learned because it sure could happen and the cyclist will always lose against the vehicle.

Though my own actions sadden me I am taking this as a lesson well learned and am fully appreciative that it took place with people who are completely willing to address the situation in an adult manner.  As they so eloquently stated, never let the sun set on a disagreement, an amazing lesson I respect them for teaching their kids and using this as an opportunity teach, not only their kids, but me as well.  They are also people who are kind hearted individuals that wanted to make sure I knew the engine revving was not directed at me, ultimately they were following the laws of the road and giving me the space necessary, I just let my testosterone, rapid response and irritation get the best of me.  Being defensive is good, but being overly defensive can cause more problems in the long run.

I am sure this is the reverse story and lesson from what most expected to read in this post, but it is truth and I am sure I am not the only person to whom this has happened.  As cyclist we focus on the rage of vehicles toward cyclists, as it undoubtedly is the most deadly and typically more common, but sometimes it is important to remember the impact we as cyclists can have on life lessons, respect toward cyclists, driving lessons and raising awareness, support and respect for the cycling community.  The road goes both ways.

In sum vehicles and cyclists must follow the same laws of the road.  Road rage from a cyclist or a vehicle never has positive results.  As a cyclist and in particular an individual cyclist, and furthermore a female cyclist, be defensive and intelligent about your decisions, route, destination and time of ride.  Always be aware of your situation and listen to your gut instincts, but also be realistic.  Former trauma often results in what can actually be unrealistic thoughts or fears, take note, learn the lesson, carry it with you, but do not let it control you or drive you to a point of action in which you may regret your future decisions.

DRIVE SAFE

RIDE SAFE

BE SAFE

Introduction to the Life of an Ironman in Training

When I signed up I knew this journey would be exhausting and I would struggle, but by no means did I think I would be so exhausted this early on.  Dad questioned my signing up for the race, not because he didn't believe in me, as he knows I can do this and so do I, but because he wanted to make sure I was making the right decision for me, at the right time in my life, to have the best opportunity to achieve all my goals.  The timing in my life is a whole other story that I may consider sharing at some point.   But all of these statements are about me.

Ironman is not about me.  This Ironman journey is about everybody involved, it goes with the defining word of the team - Kokua: extending loving, sacrificial help to others for their benefit not for personal gain. Through this blog, fundraising, team and personal service projects I am trying to extend a love for a selfless life, a healthy life, and a motivated life to all who read this and surround and support me.  I would be lying to say that this experience is 100% Kokua and not at all about me, because obviously this has been my personal goal for 25 years.  But I can honestly say that this experience and the growth I will gain is also for everybody around me and looking down on me from above.  It is my hope that we can all grow through this experience.

Anybody who knows me knows I am NOT a morning person and even without intense training I LOVE/LIVE to SLEEP.   Ironman training will require A LOT of sleep to allow my body to repair and rebuild, but the duration of training accompanied by the adult lifestyle (I wish I could go back to college and take naps between class) most Ironman triathletes have to maintain, make this a balancing act.  I guess this is one of the many lessons Ironman teaches us, what is the proper balance to life and how do you balance everything.  This is a very useful yet difficult lesson to learn.  People strive their entire lives to learn the proper balance.  Then beyond learning we must put it into action.  If anybody has found the proper balance in life, please let me know.  Fortunately I do not have kids (in the human sense) to balance, as many Ironman triathletes do and as my Father did when he competed, but I do have my pride and joy Tico, the Fuzzy Siberian Husky that requires A LOT of exercise and play time.

Tico 

My balancing act thus far has not been too difficult, but it is already taking a toll on me and I know those morning workouts will become more of a daily occurrence and the evening workouts will only get longer.  I wake up and some days train right away in the morning - out of bed and on the road at 4:50am for TRX and the pool before work.  At this stage of the game most days I just fly out of bed and gather my things and sprint out of the house to get to work looking less than presentable.  I am sure my old college roommates can remember my act of flying around the apartment like I am a crazy person or appear to be escaping a blazing fire in the house.  Training for Ironman is not exactly conducive to looking all prim and proper, at least not for this girl, I do not have the time or desire to care about what I am wearing or how my hair looks.  Then, I sit on my butt working all day thinking about food and trying not to eat only chocolate...for those of you who don't know me I am a SERIOUS Chocoholic in every sense of the word, it's a problem.  Then I drive the 30 miles home and try to get back out training before 6pm, only to finish my workout by 8:00pm or 8:30pm, soon to be 9:00pm.  I quickly try to shove something down my throat because this seems to be the only time of day I don't feel like eating.  At this point I obviously cannot fall asleep right away, so I spend the next hour or two trying to calm down so I can get to sleep.  I also avoid doing any laundry or cleaning so if this keeps up by the time I see Ironman, in August, I will be wearing nothing or super dirty clothes, sleeping on a pile of dirty clothes - I will spare you the rest of this description.  I never end up getting enough sleep so the viscous cycle begins again.  On top of all this I need to complete my application for a post-graduate certificate, continue considering Phd programs, schedule in volunteer time (which I will soon report more on as I just registered to volunteer at the Isabella County Commission on Aging and am super excited), and the list continues.  I am not complaining, I actually thrive off all of this and I know so many people's lives are much more wild than mine.  I am just saying I am tired and fear the training.

I keep telling myself it is going to get better.  I know I jumped into the training quite rapidly and am trying to make up for the lost 4-6 weeks of IM training along with attempting to heal a sprained ankle (so angry at myself about the ankle and so sad), but I also know it is just going to get more intense.  Ultimately what it comes down to is I am trying to do too much.  Dad told me I was going to need to make sacrifices and, as Mom and Dad have always told me, STOP TRYING TO BURN THE CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS.  So friends please bare with me as I disappear onto the road and into the lake this summer, or at least hand me a summer refreshment as I swim by the party boat!

As an Ironman in training I must accept and always remember what the Ironman Foundation - Newton Running Ambassador Team Team Manager shared with us:

It WILL hurt. It WILL take time.  It WILL require dedication.  It WILL require willpower.  You WILL need to make healthy decisions.  It requires sacrifice.  You WILL need to push your body to its max.  There WILL be temptation.  But I promise you, when you reach your goal.  It's worth it!

You should have asked me in the middle of my ride on Saturday if it was worth it.  Started out at 46 degrees with a goal of 60 miles.  As I rode the temperature dropped to 41, and come to find out by the end it was 39.  It started out cloudy and then drizzled a bit and I thought, I got this.  I couldn't figure out why no matter what way I turned it seemed I had to fight the wind.  When I literally witnessed an American flag make a 180 degree turn as I rode by, I realized the wind was my worst enemy and was tormenting me by turning in my face every direction I went.  I decided to view it as my best friend preparing me to be strong in every element for the race, I attacked it head down pretending it was a mountain as I love long climbs that result in a gorgeous view at the top.  In the end the wind covered 360 degrees of directional change, none of which worked in my favor or resulted in a lovely mountain view.  Plus after the light drizzle the sky decided to open up in a downpour rain with the lovely 40 degree temperatures.  I kept my head on and remained mentally strong, literally fist pumping at a few cars that drove by, yelling like a maniac and telling myself how much of a bad ass I was.  I was thriving off my own stupidity and loved it!  Then the moment of mental breakdown came and my mental fortitude suffered.  It's best to train through that mental wall because I am going to have to race through it - good lesson for sure.  I continued and got in 45 miles before I stopped at a friends house sopping wet and shivering.  They fed me and gave me a towel while I waited for my brother to come get me - I love you all for the support (Rachel and Steve Fate and Jesse Doerr).  It was nuts but I am glad I did it, but another 15 miles would likely have resulted in a week sick in bed because my body ended up so sore that night simply because I was extremely tense due to all the shivering.

Tired - who cares I will be mentally strong and force myself to be awake and then I will become smarter and get some sleep.  This is all a learning curve for me.

Cold- I grew up in Michigan, I got this.  Clothing and attitude I can control, weather I cannot, deal with it Doerr.

Too Hot - I have not had this experience yet this year and right now I would love to, but I know when it comes my lack of ability to hold onto electrolytes and stay hydrated will come into play.  I will be smart.  I will drink.  I will hydrate.  I will supplement.  I will wish I was in my bathing suit on the beach in Costa Rica drinking out of a Pipa, as I wish at this very moment.  But I will continue to push and stay focussed and train my hardest.

Being a Badass - That is forever and that WILL be me every day I suffer through the pain and make the hard decision to train instead of sleep or hang out with my friends.  All of those days that nobody cheers me on (though you are welcome to), runs and even walks by my side with a crowd around us or hands me a medal (please let that be the final result)...those are the days that count, those are the days that separate the badasses and doers from the rest, those are the days that result in what I am dreaming to hear - Megan Doerr, You Are and Ironman!

30th Birthday

Yesterday, May 8 was my 30th Birthday.  BIG number eek.  When one is very young 30 seems so very far away.  You typically set all these goals to reach prior to 30, at least I did.  But BAM before you know it you are 30.

My Day:
I woke up in the morning extremely groggy and tired, with a headache and my whole body hurt.  I'm sure this is all attributed to turning 30 and has nothing to do with the sprained ankle a week prior, the intense hours of training, my lack of water intake, my irresponsibility when it comes to getting to bed on time and getting proper sleep or the few tears I shed the night before about turning 30.  Either way, I woke up not so happy but I also woke up to many facebook messages, emails, texts and even a few phone calls from around the world wishing me Happy Birthday.  Throughout the day at work I started to feel better and it was a bright shiny day.  I was also quite excited for a night out with my girlfriends, one of which I had not seen in nearly 3 years.

After work I went home and hopped in the lake to swim to the other side and back (first time in that lake since I was probably 14), a good 38 minute open water swim with no wetsuit.  As I came out of the water my mom was so kind to greet me with a giant blanket and we turned to see the neighbors standing along the shore with binoculars.  They said, "We couldn't figure out what that was out there, it took us awhile.  We've never seen anybody swim in this lake like that."  I smiled and told them it's surprisingly not that cold but you probably will not see me doing that much longer, as the weeds are already growing and later in the summer will likely have taken over the lake.  I walked up to the house with my mom feeling pretty good, it was a nice feeling that they showed interest in what I was doing, the crazy neighbor girl that recently moved home lol!  It's amazing how just acknowledging and showing interest in what somebody is doing can truly make that person feel good (we should all do this more often, even for the little things).  I quick hopped in the shower, got dressed and joined my mom, dad and brother in the kitchen for my cake.  It took all four of us to light the 30 individual candles my mom found funny to put on the cake.  All the while my brother was cracking jokes about how the cake would be covered in wax with all those candles, how the cake might be crushed with all those candles...ok Jesse, I get it, I'm old haha!  We finally got all the candles lit and guess what, I BLEW THEM ALL OUT in one big breath.  I'm positive I had more breath to blow out another 30 too!  I guess all the training pays off, healthy, high capacity lungs, time to get this 30 year old's VO2Max tested I guess!  After demolishing some cake I went and joined my good friends at Blue Lake Tavern (BLTs).  It was wonderful to see them and we had a delicious dinner and some drinks.

The Lesson/Blessing:
I cannot express how fortunate I feel to have such a wonderful family and group of friends.  They are always supportive of my endeavors, though many of them think I am crazy and I am sure they get sick of me constantly saying, I can't I need to train or I will meet you after my ride etc etc.  But, they are still there to support and laugh at me!  In all honesty I kind of like being the one that is a bit different, I don't think it's a bad thing at all!

I think back about all the goals I had set for myself.  A major goal was to complete an Ironman by the time I was 30.  I may not have done it, but at least I am training and ready to complete one within my 30th year!  I also look at some of the goals and think, maybe the first 30 years just weren't the right time or maybe those goals weren't the right goals for me.  Priorities change, people change, and we become more aware about what is important in reality.  I am back living near my family and the good friends I have had my whole life.  I am healthy.  I am working toward accomplishing something wonderful, becoming and Ironman while giving back to the community with an amazing team of triathletes.  I have learned to be more realistic about what is important in life.  All in all it's not so bad being 30.  The best part is the very next day after I turned 30 I was finally able to get registered to volunteer, after 5 months of searching out the right fit, I finally found it.  I am thrilled at the opportunity to start volunteering with the Isabella County Commission on Aging - KOKUA!

30 and Thriving!

Next step - Keep using the heck out of the first birthday present (my lovely Specialized S-Works Prevail KOM helmet) and get out and use the second present, SKY DIVING...who's with me?  I can't wait to jump out of a plain.  When I was little I thought jumping off the deck onto the trampoline was a big deal, then in my 20s my big rush was jumping off a 50 foot waterfall in my favorite town of Montezuma, Costa Rica.  NOW it's about jumping out of a plane at 10,000-14,000 feet...Can't Wait!

Sky Diving's Next!

Learning to Mountain Bike While IM Training - Interesting

So it all started upon my return to the USA (from living and working in Costa Rica) and to my home state of Michigan last June.  I spent most of the summer traveling around Michigan for work and doing my own thing in regards to training, simply for fun, adding in some weight lifting to my routine with some wonderful friends. That summer was all about getting back into the swing of things here in the USA, finding a permanent job and stabilizing.  I did just one event that summer, Ride Around Torch Lake (60 miles), a group ride, not race.  I was able to meet some of my Dad's cycling friends (from Traverse City where our cottage is located, not our hometown).  Then in Fall true mountain biking season started and I attended some races to cheer on my Dad.  At that time McLain's Cycle and Fitness was developing a new Race Team (mountain bike centric) and they needed women; I somehow got roped into being one of the female teammates although I had no mountain bike or mountain biking experience.  Time to buy a mountain bike, which McLain's provided wonderful guidance and help to get me set up perfectly and within my budget.

Throughout the winter I was mentally preparing myself to race mountain bike in 2013 and a few running races and maybe 1-2 triathlons.  Then along came the Ironman Foundation - Newton Running Ambassador Triathlon Team, too perfect to pass up and an honor to be accepted as a member of the team.  Ok, tri training for Ironman Canada is now the main goal and obviously my A race, but somehow I have to balance my previous commitment to the McLain Race Team and race mountain bike, which I am happy to do as they have created an incredible team as well!

The LONG winter in Michigan made training a bit difficult this Spring.  I knew I had my first mountain bike race on May 4, so I had to focus on Ironman training while ensuring to be prepared to race mountain bike. Four times on the trails before the race, I guess it would have to do. Now, it's the week of the race and I'm overbooked at work and exhausted.  The plan to wake up early and do my long run before work was a failure on my part as I did not wake up.  I guess the long run will be run after my evening presentation around 8:00pm, hopefully there will be enough daylight to get me through most of the 14 mile run and enough moonlight to provide a little guidance until I finish, lesson learned - WAKE UP!  About 5 miles into the run I finally start to feel warmed up and a bit more relaxed, less stressed about life (proving how useful exercise can be to providing balance and physical and mental fitness), and starting to clip off the miles at a faster pace.  That was about the same time the sun went down and visibility was more limited.  Then just after mile 8 disaster rears its angry head, the ankle turns, I stumble and try to catch myself bashing my knee to the ground.  I hop and try to keep going, when the car that was at the stop sign nearby rolls down the window and says "You need a ride", they didn't ask they told me.  I tried to put weight on the ankle and quickly dropped my head and said,"Yeah I do".  The two nice older ladies drove me home where I propped my leg up and immediately began icing with tears running down my face.  The tears were more complete and utter frustration at my mental breaking point, fear for my training, fear for Ironman, and then OH CRAP, I have my first mountain bike race this weekend.

Mountain Bike race time it is, sprained ankle reduces my range of motion but I shouldn't need much for biking, time to hit the trails with my intense fear bubbling inside me.  The Mclain's Race Team pushed and motivated me at the race that morning and the day before the IM Foundation - Newton Running Ambassador Triathlon team  sent me off to the race with a nice shout out and support from all over the US and even world (the benefits of such a team, the amazing support)!  I was clearly completely incompetent when it came to mountain biking, not even knowing what gear to start the race in or where I should stand.  Quite different from running races and triathlons to say the least.  But finally off we went and HELL YES THAT WAS A BLAST!  I stayed on my feet and didn't crash, just had to step out a few times, one heading into the finish to avoid the guy that did an endo in front of me.  I thoroughly enjoyed it, it was a rush, it kept me entertained and I felt good.  In the end I didn't race as fast as I thought I had but I still went faster than Dad thought I would so that's a plus and I won my class! The team was super fun to hang out with and shoot the breeze about the race at the finish.

The point of this post is more to explain that everything happens for a reason.  Is mountain biking when one is a complete novice the ideal training plan for Ironman?  Maybe not, the more likely answer is actually NO.  But does it keep life interesting, YES! I also truly believe it is making me a stronger cyclist for the road, considering that is my weakest discipline I need it.  I think the stars were aligned and I was supposed to join both teams at the same time and take on both challenges at once.  I tend to respond best to extreme situations as I am an extreme person.  If it seems too simple I will relax too much.  It's a physical and mental test for me and one I have every intention on conquering. The ankle sprain was an additional challenge and one that I am sure will continue to plague me at least for a few weeks.  But I know for every time I fall, I WILL stand back up and I WILL stand back up stronger, both mentally and physically.  This seems to be the mantra for my life, especially for the past two years.  There are a few quotes that you all have heard a million times, but I want to list them here as they have truly helped me through this past week (and many other times) of injury, trials, tribulations and tests.

Most people told me not to do the mountain bike race after the ankle sprain.  I did it and at this point I am glad I did (hopefully I am still glad a week from now and hopefully that happiness is accompanied by a return to running).  Though I was initially fearful of racing, my ultimate response is "Being realistic is the most common path to mediocracy" - Will Smith.  I will not be mediocre, I will go the extra mile, I will push through the extra pain, I will test my mental and physical limits and then push them farther and farther.  I encourage others to test themselves in various situations throughout life.  It may be testing your educational limits, physical limits or pushing the bar in regards to time to ensure you are working harder and faster to allow you to spend more time with your kids or allot extra time to volunteer a bit.

I didn't know if I was ready to train for and do Ironman, I still don't know for sure.  I also wasn't sure about doing the mountain bike race with the ankle sprain...  but,  "You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice" - Bob Marley.  Thus far I have proven strong, I have a lot of room to get stronger and I am confident I can if I keep the path.  Isn't it amazing what testing our limits can teach each and every one of us.  Remember this always, Strength doesn't come from what you can do, it comes from overcoming what you couldn't!  OVERCOME.

Megan and Jeff (Dad) Pre-Race, Sporting my brand new helmet which my family gave me right before taking this picture for my upcoming 30th Birthday (Specialized S-Works Prevail - KOM Color Scheme)

Start/Finish of the Mountain Bike Race - I was told I could avoid that mud pit but apparently that was not an option and I am glad because it was FUN!

Post race discussion while Dad treated himself to a beer and I was smart and focused on elevating and icing my ankle.

Jeff (Dad), Mom (Roberta) and Me - Cheers with my age group prize beer mug and free beer !